As I type this little blog this Monday morning, I’m reminded of my lack of faith and frailty in trusting in God’s sovereignty. 2008 has brought my family some blessings and a few challenges. At work it has been mainly challenges. I have questioned my ability to be a good sales person in a bad economy. Instead of trusting God at times, I look at myself and wonder why I can’t do better. It is easy to think terrible, self-condemning thoughts in life instead of running to the cross and finding home and comfort. God is sovereign over all things: even my daily bread and skills. I was really excited about closing a BIG deal this past week. We needed the work for our guys, and I received a verbal approval of a large $26,000 project that could start ASAP. After I sent the man the proposal to sign, he did not get back to me for 4 days. I finally received a brief email yesterday stating, “Thanks but no thanks!” He went with someone else: had buyers remorse. At that very moment, I felt like pointing my finger at God and saying, “Lord, you know we need work…I prayed…I had faith! I needed that job! Why did he say NO?” I must admit, those thoughts entered my mind but I was quickly reminded of God’s sovereignty and the message at church from Mark Lauterbach. He preached on Acts 23-24 and spoke about God’s sovereign hand on Paul’s life. Paul was told he WOULD preach in Rome. It was God’s promise, and despite almost being killed more than just once, God’s hand was on Paul’s life because he promised he would bear witness to the Emperor. Pastor Mark wanted us to know that God governs and determines the events of our lives and it is always for our good. My disappointing sales call is nothing compared to what Paul went through or the persecuted church of Jesus Christ. God’s promise is that He will not allow His children to lack bread or go hungry. He will provide and protect us, and that promise is so true in my life. Our company is 26+ years old now, and God continues to provide work. He might even use me at times.So, I still have little faith and am tested to despair but am reminded that God loves His children. He will never leave us or forsake us. He will be faithful when I am faithless. His sovereign will is meant for our good even when we don’t understand His purposes at the moment.