Chismville

I hate parking garages–well if I’m trying to finagle a large vehicle through one. I hate taking my kids to doctors appointments, waiting through a number of episodes of virtually the same show entitled “juggling three small children at a place they don’t particularly like at lunch time,” watching the helpless adoring eyes of my 8-week-old daughter as I assist in her unexpected torturous shots, trying to comfort two sad, afflicted little girls at the same time, waiting for an elevator that is slow and always too full for a stroller when it is going my direction, then settling for taking car seat, stroller and toddlers down stairs in shifts, then the inevitable, “YOU have your hands full!!!,” forgetting to bring change for the parking garage, and realizing upon arriving at home that I have somewhere managed to step in green bubblegum. Nevertheless I love being a mother to my precious children. Life is settling into a lovely new normal. I’m finding joy and fulfillment in the miniature joys of life like fixing myself yummy coffee drinks, crossing completed items off my list, being unpregnant and able to return to my favorite forms of exercise, and watching my two toddlers take such obvious delight in their little sister. We had a wonderful time on the east coast partaking in my dear friend’s wedding and enjoying recreating in Massanutten, Virginia with my dad’s side of the family. I look forward to the time when more of our friends and family also have children and we aren’t trying to keep up with everyone else or at the mercy of others to forego their desires to help out with our little ones. Aria is a joyful addition to our household. She’s a little more demanding than her older siblings were as infants. Her preference is to be held all the time. But since I still have only two arms, she is already learning part of the hard call of a Christian to die to self! She has been quite busy growing over the past few weeks to 150% her hospital size. She currently has one blue and and one brown eye. I don’t know whether she’s keeping us in suspense about which color will break the tie in our family, or maybe they’ll stay brown and blue. Chalice is a little character trying to keep up with her brother in some respects and holding her own in others. She and Joel are quite the duo. Joel recently told me, “Don’t be afraid, Mommy, Thomas is with you.” I know I should keep such sacrilege to myself.  I’m enjoying our new little community and the safety of taking walks right from our front door. There’s a nearby park and stores within walking distance.  Ironically my favorite asset or our new home is the attached garage or more precisely the potential to load and unload children safely without having to herd them around our condo complex along with armloads of groceries. It’s great having a small yard and being able to plant flowers, herbs, and a few vegetables, though I was a bit preoccupied during planting season this year. I’d better get on to other details of life, but after two months absence it’s nice to leave my little mark on cyberspace.

Joli encouraged me to take a personal retreat recently, so I took her up on her offer. It is hard to take a personal retreat when we have three little ones at home, so I made the retreat short: 8-11am this past Saturday. I did have a very good time all by myself in prayer and reading God’s Word. I had a lot of time to think and reflect on the past and possible future events of my life.One of the things I really struggled with this past week was work! 2008 has been a real challenge for me personally, because our business is really struggling. The economy in San Diego seems to be getting worse. My sales have been in an all time low! I have been in such a slump. My dad and others have been very encouraging by saying that it isn’t me but the economy. I guess that is true, but I am still meeting potential clients. It just seems like it is 10x harder to sell a project for the price I want this year, and that really gets a salesman down in the dumps.This past Friday was one of the worst days of work I had in awhile. I had a $35,000 job negotiated and ready to go. The owner gave me his verbal approval after several days of asking to come down on my price from $38,000 or so. We both agreed to go ahead and I just had to get everything signed and scheduled. The hard part was I had to work with his contractor, so it took forever to get it signed. I went on vacation, came back and realized we still had not received paperwork or a start date. Right before I left, the contractor said it was a go to and he would get back with me to see when we could start. Well, this Friday I contacted the contractor who said the owner is not going to do anything with him and told me to contact the homeowner directly. So I called and the owner said he was going to use another paint contractor! What a blow to get! We were almost completely out of work for most of our employees and I thought this was the perfect job! I could not believe it was completely cancelled.I also had another appointment scheduled last Friday where the owner said, “We want to meet and go over the contract.” It was another very large project. I drove out to their home, and to make a long story short…they were NOT ready to commit. They basically just wanted some questions answered to start comparing Apples to Apples. By the end of the day, I was exhausted and worn out when looking at our empty schedule board. I left early to go play disc golf by myself. I figured that would help me to deal with some of the stress.It was that afternoon that I received a very encouraging email from my father in law, a brief encouragement from my dad over the phone and a loving response from my wife that helped me to not remain discouraged over the entire weekend.The Saturday retreat helped me to turn my eyes back to the Savior and know that He loves us and will take care of us. My business and life is completely under His control. He encouraged me with the Psalms such as 116, Ps. 56:3-11, and parts of Psalm 86. He will never allow us to go hungry and He will never leave or forsake us! David called out to God in the day of trouble, and the Lord delivered him from ALL his troubles. I sometimes think his troubles were not just his enemies but the day to day struggles of life! God wants me to rest in His goodness and righteousness. He does not want me to go through life thinking that I am the one who has to provide for my staff. He uses me as the salesman to bring in the work but it is still God who is at work! I am learning to be humble and rely more on His help in all that I do!Thank you Lord for encouraging me with your people and your WORD! 

We are currently enjoying our family vacation in Maryland. We arrived last night with our now family of 5 and one of Joli’s sisters, Kirstie. Kirstie joined us for 2 weeks and was able to be on the same flight back to Maryland. Ste was a big help to us!

We will be back east for 12 days and are looking forward to a much needed vacation from work! Work has been very slow and discouraging lately as San Diego’s construction is very slow. So, I will enjoy the time off visiting with our wonderful east coast family and friends.

The 2 main events this trip are a wedding (Jennifer Wold and Daniel Scoggins) and a family reunion at Massunuttan in Virginia.

As I type this little blog this Monday morning, I’m reminded of my lack of faith and frailty in trusting in God’s sovereignty. 2008 has brought my family some blessings and a few challenges. At work it has been mainly challenges. I have questioned my ability to be a good sales person in a bad economy. Instead of trusting God at times, I look at myself and wonder why I can’t do better. It is easy to think terrible, self-condemning thoughts in life instead of running to the cross and finding home and comfort. God is sovereign over all things: even my daily bread and skills. I was really excited about closing a BIG deal this past week. We needed the work for our guys, and I received a verbal approval of a large $26,000 project that could start ASAP. After I sent the man the proposal to sign, he did not get back to me for 4 days. I finally received a brief email yesterday stating, “Thanks but no thanks!” He went with someone else: had buyers remorse. At that very moment, I felt like pointing my finger at God and saying, “Lord, you know we need work…I prayed…I had faith! I needed that job! Why did he say NO?” I must admit, those thoughts entered my mind but I was quickly reminded of God’s sovereignty and the message at church from Mark Lauterbach. He preached on Acts 23-24 and spoke about God’s sovereign hand on Paul’s life. Paul was told he WOULD preach in Rome. It was God’s promise, and despite almost being killed more than just once, God’s hand was on Paul’s life because he promised he would bear witness to the Emperor. Pastor Mark wanted us to know that God governs and determines the events of our lives and it is always for our good. My disappointing sales call is nothing compared to what Paul went through or the persecuted church of Jesus Christ. God’s promise is that He will not allow His children to lack bread or go hungry. He will provide and protect us, and that promise is so true in my life. Our company is 26+ years old now, and God continues to provide work. He might even use me at times.So, I still have little faith and am tested to despair but am reminded that God loves His children. He will never leave us or forsake us. He will be faithful when I am faithless. His sovereign will is meant for our good even when we don’t understand His purposes at the moment.