The past few weeks my mind has been spinning with many decision-based thoughts that I just can’t seem to find an end or a solution to…yet! Decision Making for me has always been rather difficult. One of my weaknesses is wondering what other people think, weighing their advice and then making a decision based on majority opinion. I am learning to trust God and pray about the matters before me and make a decision. I know that my decisions, if based on faith and trust (and a clear conscience) will only bring glory to God. I must remember that God is for us, not against us. He wants us to make decisions and be confident in Him. His promise is that a man plans his ways, but the Lord directs His steps. Ultimately, for the Christian, our Father is sovereign and in complete control of our wills! Praise God for that!

The heavy decisions tend to do with my vocation. Where does God want me to raise my family? What is my calling? Do I have a vision for my little family? I love the fact that I have been able to be a part of my family business and help grow the company. I have enjoyed working with my Dad and am very grateful for the perks and freedom to visit Joli’s family 2 times a year. I also wrestle with the idea of moving or staying in San Diego. Moving would cause me to have to start from ground zero again and would mean leaving my family business. This is easier said than done, for Dad would probably sell or close the business if I were to leave. I know that obstacle should not cause me to say that I need to stay, but I do have to carefully think through the question of “Do I have the gifting and the desire to take over this company in a few years?” “Is this my calling?” I was reminded by my home group leader, Steve, today that I should not just “try harder.” In other words, I need to trust the Lord and know that either decision is NOT a right or wrong decision! I don’t need to worry about the results but place my desires, my worries, my concerns, my everything on the Lord.

Tonight I was asked to pray about being a home group leader too. This of course would definitely put a hold on any possible big move. Being asked to pray about it brings new things to think about: “Is it the best timing in my life?” “Will Joli be ready to serve with me in this role?” “How can God use me in this position?” It is easy for me to think that I am not worthy of being a home group leader, because I see my failures and sin so clearly most of the time. My current responsibilities at work and at home cause me to think that I have SO MUCH to learn. I think I do, BUT God can still use even me. I have been learning at church lately (as we study ACTS) that God uses His people to build His church. He used Peter at Pentecost shortly after he denied Jesus three times! So, I will pray that the Lord would give me the grace and humility to make this decision and that He would cause me to rely completely on Him!