Chismville

How many times have we prayed, “Lord give me grace right now” and really hoped it would happen? There are times in our lives where we might feel we need extra grace to deal with a difficult situation or problem we are facing, but we are only thinking of the hear and now. The Prophet Jeremiah says that God’s ways and thoughts are not like ours. He knows best and gives grace at the perfect moment and sometimes when we are least expecting it.

I was sharing with a dear Christian brother at work yesterday how I felt God had given me grace to deal with our current business problems of work that is slowing down. I typically respond by worrying and complaining. Although I have done that this time around, I have also been praying and asking the Lord for grace and wisdom, and I have had a little more peace in my heart. My friend responded by saying, “You know, I have noticed the same thing. You do seem more at peace!” He has definitely seen me worry, so I appreciated his honest feedback. He then shared with me this illustration that I thought was very helpful for me to pass along in my blog. To summarize:

There was a well known saint during the time of intense Christian persecutions who was asked to deny Christ or be burned at the stake who had to give an answer the following morning. They put him in a prison cell and gave him a lit candle. The man began to put his finger over the burning candle to test how long he could withstand the pain. Each time, he would pull his finger away and say to himself, “I just can’t do it. It hurts to much. I don’t have it in me to die this way!”

The next day, his enemies came to him and said, “Will you recant your beliefs in Christ?” At that moment, he was able to say, “No!” and was burned at the stake. After the flames were lit, this dear saint began to sing praises to God until God took him home.

This illustration gives us a good picture of God’s timely grace. The man felt he needed extra grace the night before, which I am sure the Lord ministered to him immensely. BUT, at the perfect time, God’s time, He gave this man more grace to endure the present suffering.

I remember hearing how my new brother in law, Jesse Beaty, dealt with hearing the news of his brothers death in a car accident last fall. Jesse fell to his knees and cried, “Thank you Lord for the 21 years I had with my brother!” Wow! Our Lord was so gracious to my dear brother to be able to say those words instead of falling into a deep depression or shaking his fist and blaming God. I believe Hebrews 4:16 sums it all up for us perfectly: “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” He gives grace freely to those who asked, and we know about His amazing grace as we abide in Him. It is those who have a deep fellowship with our Savior who experience his timely grace. Lord, help us to abide!

No I have not gotten a green thumb. I was just told something funny about planting flowers that I had to jot it down. Isn’t that what BLOGS are for: just a journal of what is going on in my little head?

Joli and I have not been enjoying having our home on the market. It is very draining being on call knowing that at any moment, we could get a call that someone wants to stop by in 30 minutes to look at our home. Having 2 little kids that like to redecorate ever 30 minutes doesn’t help either.

Our realtor, bless her heart, seems to be thinking that in order to sell our home it has to be perfect: new paint, clean yard, new fixtures, carpets, a vase of flowers and so on! Our little home is well cared for and is in very good shape, but it seems that it is not quite good enough. As a painting estimator, I have been in hundreds of homes in a good and bad market, and I feel I know a little about what will help sell a place and what will not. I have talked people out of painting their homes a plain & boring white just to sell. As long as you don’t have pink polka dots as your main decoration, people don’t mind seeing a home with decent accent colors and real home decor.

I received an email today from the Realtor after I asked her about lowering my cost to get more volume. Her response is to keep it where it is (even higher). The second thing is that she wants us to plan flowers in our garden to make it pop! Ok! That is where I said, “NO WAY!” Planting flowers in a competitive market might help a little, but in a DEAD market when the cost of homes is dropping my the $1k each week, flowers just ain’t going to cut it. People have walked through the home and commented how they love the place. They probably spend 10 seconds or less outside, because it is a condo. Plus it is still winter in San Diego. I know that things do grow in San Diego in January, but in most parts of the country, things do not. So people are not going to expect a perfect little garden when it is NOT spring. Besides, it is currently an herb garden, and if our home does not sell, I want herbs in the spring, not flowers!

I’m not sure why I wrote this all up. It was just in my little brain and had to vent! Bottom line, we are selling our condo AS IS! We like it, and I think the right person will too.

Last night, Joel had yet another long drawn out dinner. He was served a vegetable dish that he just did not seem interested in eating and finishing. We talked to him a number of times and told him he needed to finish, etc. Finally, after about 30 minutes, I sat down next to him (as we were already completely done with dinner by this point) and said, “Joel…let’s finish this up!” He picked up the fork with a pile of zucchini and said, “Dad Eat?” I of course shook my head and said, “No. Joel eats!” He then replied, “Mom Eat?” I said, “Nope.” He said, “Chalice Eat?” and held it out to her to help finish the 3-4 remaining bites. At that moment, Joli and I started cracking up laughing. Here was I tell him he needed to finish the food up, so he tries to pull a fast one on me by suggesting that we all should help finish it! The things kids do. Joel thought the idea was quite clever too.

The morning routine ended with dancing. Joel asked me to dance with him and midway through a fast song, plopped down on my bed and said, “Watch Mommy dance!” Yeah, nothing like being put on the spot.

Juggling life with school and two young toddlers is interesting. Chalice doesn’t seem to hold a 2nd nap in high esteem, so this morning I nixed her first nap with splendid results. We went on an outing and wore out her busy big brother instead. We started off at the library, since David and I have both read the kids’ books to them several thousand times. I let Joel pick out ten books and Chalice bopped around. Then we walked over to a new Christian coffee place that I’ve been curious about. The baristas welcomed the kids with little cups of animal crackers and showed us to the little white picket-fenced play area with cute little tables and legos and puzzles. I enjoyed a delightful beverage and finally lured Joel away from the fun with descriptions of the park. I changed one poopy diaper in the car and felt like such an organized mother since I actually had my hand sanitizer with me for a change! We walked over to the park and Chalice surprised me by going down a big slide by herself. It was much warmer than yesterday and I wished my second layer were presentable. I so enjoy the companionship of my little ones. It seems like a major feat to be able to get the kids around without a stroller. Joel has just started to be more obedient in terms of following me and Chalice likes to walk some of the time too.

I fed the kids lunch and kept Chalice from falling asleep in her highchair. Joel was all too eager to read five of his new library books with me before I insisted on his naptime. Joel loves Curious George, probably because kids seem to like things about themselves and George seems very familiar. “Joel is a good little monkey, but always very curious….” Around two, I was able to hit the books and get started on my very last reading assignment for the eighth paper on terrorism. I now know way more than I ever wished to know on the topic of terrorism. I look forward to finishing up this course…soon! David arrived home from work a little early, and just as I was beginning to need a break from all that reading! I fixed us all a healthy dinner and chocolate chip cookies and we went miniature golfing as a family. Joel and Chalice added extra obstacles to our course. It was a good day!

The past few weeks my mind has been spinning with many decision-based thoughts that I just can’t seem to find an end or a solution to…yet! Decision Making for me has always been rather difficult. One of my weaknesses is wondering what other people think, weighing their advice and then making a decision based on majority opinion. I am learning to trust God and pray about the matters before me and make a decision. I know that my decisions, if based on faith and trust (and a clear conscience) will only bring glory to God. I must remember that God is for us, not against us. He wants us to make decisions and be confident in Him. His promise is that a man plans his ways, but the Lord directs His steps. Ultimately, for the Christian, our Father is sovereign and in complete control of our wills! Praise God for that!

The heavy decisions tend to do with my vocation. Where does God want me to raise my family? What is my calling? Do I have a vision for my little family? I love the fact that I have been able to be a part of my family business and help grow the company. I have enjoyed working with my Dad and am very grateful for the perks and freedom to visit Joli’s family 2 times a year. I also wrestle with the idea of moving or staying in San Diego. Moving would cause me to have to start from ground zero again and would mean leaving my family business. This is easier said than done, for Dad would probably sell or close the business if I were to leave. I know that obstacle should not cause me to say that I need to stay, but I do have to carefully think through the question of “Do I have the gifting and the desire to take over this company in a few years?” “Is this my calling?” I was reminded by my home group leader, Steve, today that I should not just “try harder.” In other words, I need to trust the Lord and know that either decision is NOT a right or wrong decision! I don’t need to worry about the results but place my desires, my worries, my concerns, my everything on the Lord.

Tonight I was asked to pray about being a home group leader too. This of course would definitely put a hold on any possible big move. Being asked to pray about it brings new things to think about: “Is it the best timing in my life?” “Will Joli be ready to serve with me in this role?” “How can God use me in this position?” It is easy for me to think that I am not worthy of being a home group leader, because I see my failures and sin so clearly most of the time. My current responsibilities at work and at home cause me to think that I have SO MUCH to learn. I think I do, BUT God can still use even me. I have been learning at church lately (as we study ACTS) that God uses His people to build His church. He used Peter at Pentecost shortly after he denied Jesus three times! So, I will pray that the Lord would give me the grace and humility to make this decision and that He would cause me to rely completely on Him!

I have always thought it was funny talking to toddlers and asking them any question that came to my mind that I knew were not true and listening to them answer: “YES!” You can say things like, “Do you hate your parents?” or “Do you like Eggplant?” All answers are still “yes!”

Things tend to be a little different with Joel! The other night during dinner I asked him several questions very fast like, “Do you want more food?” and “Does this taste good etc. etc.” He answered the same very quickly, “yes!” “yes” “yes!” Until my final question, “do you want to take a nap” in which he quickly responded “NO!” He’s a smart kid. I tried tricking him into saying yes for everything, but he knew what I was up too!

Joli and I try to be extra quiet in the morning so we don’t wake our light sleepers!

This mornings was a little different. I could hear Joel when I tip toed passed his door as he talked to himself. I joined Joli who was already reading in the living room, and we talked quietly! As we whispered, we both stopped and heard a little voice down the hall say, “Daddy. Talk. Mommy.” It was though he was spying on us!

1/2 banana

1 carrot

1 tray ice cubes

3 frozen strawberries

2 tangerines

1/4 cup whole yogurt

1/3 cup tofu

1 t. vanilla

Whir in vitamix or other very buff blender and share with your happy toddlers!

Yesterday was a draggy sort of day. I tried to persuade Joel of the delightfulness of a morning nap, but he wasn’t buying. At last both kids were down for afternoon naps and I worked on a reading assignment for my last Political Science class. When my brain quit making sense of the text, I decided the coveted nap would be just the thing. It was 3:30 and I wouldn’t have to worry about dinner for another hour or so. Just as I drifted to the lovely land of dreams, I was jolted awake by the doorbell. I thought it was probably a delivery and didn’t bother to get up. I cringed at the thought of the kids waking up!! Then I heard the door opening and was excited it was David home early, until I heard a woman’s voice. I jumped from bed and raced down the hall, looking nice and frazzled for our dear friend–the realtor–who was dropping off flyers. Yes, I guess she called, but with the glorious “do not disturb” feature on our phone I had no idea she was coming by. I’ll still haven’t adjusted to the concept of someone unlocking our door and letting themselves in at any time. How eager I am to be finished with this whole house on the market thing! 

This morning David and I were in the living rooms having our morning devotions and heard a little voice. Joel practically has his own intercom system. He puts his head down by the door and comments on the most recent events of the day.  The door amplifies his little voice. “Daddy talking to Mommy!” he reported to the world.  Chalice doesn’t say a whole lot yet. She’s still in the “Uh-Oh” stage and copies Joel’s “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” whenever I ask a question.

I thought you had to have New Year’s resolutions in writing in order for them to happen. My neatly stacked and organized closet can attest it’s not true. For months I’ve been dreading the project of going through clothes and stuff and making happy workable space for all my closet’s inhabitants and this past Saturday it happened with only the slightest amount of pain! Meanwhile, my amazing husband cleaned up the kitchen from breakfast, swept the floor and patio, took out the trash, and got the car cleaned!!

The best part of the day was made better by our productivity. After naps, we loaded the kids in their carseats in our clean car and trekked over for a hike on the glorious trails/beach of Torrey Pines/Del Mar. The kids were happy as could be listening to our pleasant conversation from the keen vantage point of their backpacks and we got the added exercise benefits of their respective 28 and 20 pounds. The air was perfect. We started off in a residential area through which we accessed the cliff trails overlooking the beach. The waves crested and their spray glittered in the sunlight until they descended, crashing on the golden sand. We crossed railroad tracks and enjoyed the uncrowded beach, eventually bringing us to Del Mar and a little community which ended our circuit at our car. Joel and Chalice took short naps while we cleaned up and topped off the day with a delicious meal at Emily and Andy’s house.

Sunday was similarly delightful. After church, we dropped off the kids at a friends house, whose kind daughter had volunteered to watch them as a community service project. We cheered the Charger’s victory, ate pizza and calzones for lunch, and took a peaceful stroll through Kensington, starbucks cups in hand. Tired by our pleasant excursions, we tucked the kids in bed after a small dinner and ended the day with Stewart Little and sweet dreams.