Oh for the joy of three-day weekends if it weren’t for the restless nights of thinking thoughts! Growing up, when I could not sleep, I would play piano. How I had that luxury in a full house, I’m not entirely sure. Our house was solidly built and my playing was muffled by sturdy walls. I would release all the thoughts of a busy day onto the keyboard. Music has always been my passion, though my talent has never been extraordinary. What brings me joy is to be the background music–no louder than the paint–nice aesthetics to compliment a pleasantly conversing crowd. Music can be so frustrating at the same time as it is rewarding. I’d like to say I don’t really care what people think of me and my playing or singing. I’d like to say that, but living tells me it’s not true. I care far too much what people think. I used to be drawn to a piano and would play just for fun. I would flit from song to song like a happy bird. In recent years, I’ve neglected the piano. I sit to play and feel self-conscious and worry what people will think. I miss my place reading music and think of the dreadful blot on the atmosphere tapestry. I think of the people around me who play as well or better than I play. Furthermore, I feel like my playing is not necessary because my husband can play. What happened to the delightful release of thought and overflow of emotions I used to exude onto the responsive keys I can’t tell. I like to think of David, playing his harp to his sheep in the vast wilderness expanse. What beautiful music he must have played for the pleasure of his Maker and for his own joy and satisfaction! I realize I need to play, not because I can play incredibly, but because I can play at all. Even mediocre expression has merit for the release it brings to my being. I wager that I can be a better wife and better mother I think, if I take time to not just listen to music, but play for the glory of the One who made my fingers and my own joy. Creativity in whatever medium it is used is a way that we can reflect a masterful Creator. Banish the pride that robs me of joy and makes me so mindful of myself! Who do I think I am that I would desire to be greater than the next person? How thankful I am for ears that can hear and a heart that delights in lyrical expression!