Our Story
8 06 2004The Early Years
David and Joli’s paths providentially intersected for the first time one evening in February or March of 2001 when David was visiting his sister, Emily, at Patrick Henry College in Purcellville, Virginia. Joli worked in the administrative departments of the college and had ventured into the college’s little weight room to get a little exercise as she often did after work. Emily was taking her brother through her customary regimen as a disciplined Patrick Henry student who also liked to stay fit. All three arrived in the weight room and made friendly conversation.
Go West Howard Family
June of 2002 marked the second intersection of paths for David and Joli. Mr. and Mrs. Howard were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary by taking their family on a trip across the country to see the great out west, stopping in national parks along the way from their home in Libertytown, Maryland to the California coast. The family parked their RV along the Coronado beach and visited the Chism home in San Diego. Emily Chism and Jennifer Howard had been suitemates and friends at Patrick Henry College and the Chisms extended a warm invitation to the Howard family of twelve. The families enjoyed several days of wonderful fellowship. Joli got the chance to see David’s recently purchased condo in Santee which unbeknown to either of them would later be their home!
Where Did She Go?
Over a year passed and the families lost contact. On January 12, 2004, David was driving alone one night and remembered this “Joli Howard” with some purpose. He decided to look her up. Sure enough, he found her name and contact information on a home school website and fired off a friendly email to Joli, who had just started her second semester as a junior at Hillsdale College in Michigan. Joli was pleased to hear from David and lost no time in replying. Over discussions of music, evangelism, reformed theology and people they kept each other’s inboxes full of mail. David had finally met his match for long letters full of rabbit trails and questions!
Moving Forward
After about a week and a half of fast-fire email discussions, David contacted Mr. Howard with the big question about courting a certain daughter of his. David and Joli had spent only a handful of hours face to face, yet David had the courage to initiate a courtship, Mr. Howard gave his consent and Joli responded favorably, though a little timidly at first. Then began the long phone conversations across three time zones when David and Joli would talk long into the night, needing to recharge their cell phone batteries while they talked.
David and Emily had planned a visit to Flint Michigan to see their brother, Curtis and incorporated Joli in the plans. That long weekend was something of a whirlwind with all the life-changing of thoughts of the marriage-directed purpose of courtship. Only a couple weeks later, David flew to Maryland to visit Joli’s family over her spring break. The time was delightful and less hectic and even the weather was much warmer than the Michigan trip.
Later, as phone calls, emails, instant messenger conversations and even text message conversations continued, so did the teasing. David heard it especially from his close family friends. Joli got a more severe dose of teasing from her sister-like roommate, Regina, who managed to incorporate dozens of Hillsdale friends in the excitement and teasing of the season. More importantly, as David and Joli prayed together and discussed Scripture together, honored their parents and desired to be godly in their courtship, friends were thrilled to see how God was at work in this relationship and to hear how the Lord had truly brought them together. Days went by and Mr. Chism graciously offered to fly Joli out to San Diego so that David and Joli could spend more time together. Joli had a good incentive to complete papers ahead of the game so that April 22, just a week before finals she could see David in the beautiful city of San Diego.
Pop’n the Question
Friday morning, April 23, David arrived to take Joli on a little hike up Volcan Mountain. The day was perfect with a gentle breeze and not a cloud in the sky. After a pleasant drive, they arrived at the mountain and liberally applied sunscreen. David assembled several items in his backpack. When Joli inquired if he needed anything else, David decided to take along his guitar. Joli wore the backpack and David strapped on his big guitar case. Joli thought it was a little funny to take a cumbersome guitar up a mountain, but didn’t question the idea. They hiked along, rather quietly, Joli thought. She asked a few questions, and David gave unusually succinct answers, but the quiet was pleasant and companionable, not awkward. At last they reached “the spot.” It was a place David had gone one Saturday, three months earlier, with his Bible and journal to pray. He’d then written “She’s the one,” in his journal. Joli climbed up on a rock and David picked a rock, just a little below her. They both quietly surveyed the peaceful landscape. Joli decided that since David had gone to all the trouble to carry the guitar up that mountain he should make use of it and asked David to please play her one of the songs she liked. She watched as he carried the guitar case over to a big stump to open it up then gazed out across the landscape again. David returned and got right in front of Joli and placed in her hands not a guitar, but a gigantic, pink “Necco Sweetheart” candy heart with the words in big red letters, “WILL YOU MARRY ME, JOLI?!” on it. Joli was shocked and amazed! Here was the BIG moment a girl spends her childhood dreaming about. A man had asked her to marry him and stood before her in a blue t-shirt and khaki shorts with powdered sugar on his hands repeating the words on that heart! She gave her answer, “Yes!” and jumped off her perch on the rock to give him a big hug.
David explained how from the time he was a kid, he thought it would be a cool way to propose to a girl to get a big heart custom-made by the sweetheart company. He said that six weeks before, he’d typed an email to inquire and the company had informed him that they’d never done something like that before, but decided to have a company meeting about it. They asked him what color David would want and what the heart should say. All this was BEFORE David had visited Joli at Hillsdale. Then, after David’s visit to Libertytown, they told him they were willing to fulfill his request, but they didn’t say anything about timing. A few days before Joli arrived in San Diego the company announced that they were going to mail the heart and the box was waiting on David’s patio on Thursday, when David gave Joli a tour of his place! Because the 13” heart was only ¼ inch thick, David had puzzled over how to get the thing up the mountain without breaking it. His guitar case with lots of bubble wrap offered the perfect solution.
David led Joli to the large stump where he’d opened his guitar case and they prayed together for the first time as an engaged couple. Then David read aloud the gospel of 1 John. When some hikers approached them later, David announced that he had just proposed to “this girl!” The couple was delighted and offered to take their picture. David’s and Joli’s trek down the mountain was livelier than their ascent. Then began the fun of calling family to share the news.
Joli returned to Hillsdale to announce her exciting news to her friends and to finish her exams and papers. Then she drove home to Libertytown, Maryland. David and Joli continued their phone conversations and letters amidst wedding plans for the big day of being united in Christ on August 21, 2004! May Jesus Christ be praised and glorified!
Posted by David
June 28th, 2004 at 2:18 am
I am crying in the middle of the library while reading this!! (and I already know the story!!!) I am so excited for you both. Continue to pray together always and may Jesus Christ be praised and glorified even more!
July 2nd, 2004 at 4:53 am
great story david, i gotta find out more about that custom heart, that was a nice touch. later…
July 6th, 2004 at 2:15 am
David and Joli–We just got your invitation. It is very nice. I was curious about your listed website and had to check this out. It’s great! I enjoyed reading the story that I heard you two tell in person at the shower. I love all your pictures. You both are so photogenic. Lovely, lovely. I am excited for you both. Matt and I are joining you in this new adventure. May we be encouragers and prayer warriors for each other. God Bless you both! Love to you, Sarah
July 12th, 2004 at 11:01 am
I loved reading your story! My little brother is headed to Patrick Henry College in a matter of weeks…I’ll have to tell him to avoid talking to cute girls in the weight room.
July 14th, 2004 at 1:54 am
Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved hearing (reading in this case) other’s stories of what occurred before they married… That hasn’t changed at all (and I’m nineteen now)! When I was fourteen, I made a committment to remain sexually pure for my husband, and at 17, I decided never to kiss until my wedding day… In today’s culture these practices are frowned upon, considered less than “normal,” and I had difficulty of whether or not I should hold to these standards when everyone else seemed to disagree. Also, it has been difficult in light of the fact that I have had troubles finding other couples who followed these convictions
At any rate, I have been very excited and encouraged to hear of so many stories through ylcf.org (which is where I found the link to your story, by the way! :~) )as well as other places. Thank you for your shining testimony. Thank you for not being ashamed to stand firm in your convictions, and thank you for sharing your wonderful story. I pray that one day (Lord-willing) I will be able to share my own story of courtship and waiting… Congratulations! And I know your wedding will be absolutely wonderful and beautiful (all the more so, because of your faithfulness in following a higher, holy, biblical standard)
July 15th, 2004 at 2:19 am
Joli (and David)
Uncle Luke and I were so excited to get your wedding invitation. We had no idea. In our humble opinion, David is one exceptionally lucky fellow. We wish you much happiness and look forward to helping you celebrate that wonderful wedding day!
Love, and God Bless You Both,
Aunt Ann
July 16th, 2004 at 10:56 am
David and Joli, Congratulations!!!
Joli, it seems like just the other day when you told me about trusting God for your future husband; but thinking that it would be a while before you found Him. But God Knew, He had someone special set aside just for you! May you both continue to trust Him in every area of your life. David it’s been a real blessing to get to know you. You’re joining a wonderful family!!! God bless you both. In Christ, Amy
July 31st, 2004 at 9:03 am
Dear Joli,
I am so happy for you. You will be missed in Maryland, but what a great adventure to move to the West Coast. It has been a pleasure watching you grow into the wonderful young woman that you are. I had tears in my eyes reading your story, it is so romantic. I wish you all of God’s greatest blessings as you share your life together.
Love, Kim
August 1st, 2004 at 7:55 am
David and Joli,
God be praised! What a faith-building experience to be able to finally know the one God has prepared for you from the beginning of time. The Lord is truly faithful and pours out blessing to those who seek His face and are obedient to Him. You both have done this and are now reaping His reward. Joli, in a world where a white wedding dress has become merely traditional, by Christ’s mercy, I can’t wait to see you wear yours with the fullest meaning of it.
All our love,
Karl & Alyssa
August 4th, 2004 at 5:30 am
David & Joli,
Congratulations !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don’t know me but I just found your story on Gretchen’s site (YLCF) and I just couldn’t resist posting a little note to add our Congratulations !!!! =) My Sweetheart and I will celebrate our very 1st Wedding Anniversary on August 21st !!!! =) It’s a great day !! =) Married life is certianly something we would highly recommend — it’s wonderful !!!!!!!!!!! =)
May the LORD richly bless and use you in this new life together as one !!!!!!!
In Christ,
Ryan & Jodi
August 19th, 2004 at 6:55 am
Joli,
I am sooooo happy for you (and David also of course). Your story is beautiful and I am sure it will grow to be glorious. I wish you all of God’s blessings! I will really miss you and so will my lawn.
August 19th, 2004 at 12:33 pm
I’m obviously too busy since it’s alreay just two days before the wedding and I’m finally getting around to reading this heart-warming re-telling of the wonderful romance of the oldest of 8 girls.
Aunt Ann is absolutely correct. David, you’re one “exceptionally lucky” fellow. (Don’t forget what I read at the Jolly Green Giant packing house in Fruitland, Maryland as a searching college student in the early 70′s: Luck is what a fool calls it when God gives him a break
I agree 100% with Kim Hanlin too. Joli, you will be sorely missed in Maryland. But, I suppose like MD, California needs bright light as well.
David, perhaps Joli doesn’t know quite all the behind-the-scenes maneuvering happening as we sought to focus your attention on her April trip to CA. What a “glorious” display of our Father’s providence that gigantic pink heart was delivered
right on time!
I especially liked the accurate description of how you kept each other’s inboxes full of mail and that David “had finally met his match for long letters full of rabbit trails and questions!”
You both have my complete blessing without reservation. All praise, honor and glory be to God!
~ The Papa (“Pops,” right Emily?
August 20th, 2004 at 1:22 am
Y’all are perfect for each other–it’s so clear that the Lord has planned this marriage as an expression of his power and providence. My one regret (very small) is that David didn’t wait until one day later to propose. I would have won $5 off of Julia!
Much love,
Regina
August 20th, 2004 at 10:53 am
Wow! That is exciting! And tomorrow is the big day eh. Praise the Lord!
Jen
August 24th, 2004 at 1:00 am
Hi David and Joli,
So happy to hear your news thru Tim. I haven’t seen you in about 6 years. You both look great together.
My wish is for your marriage to be the envy of all who come to know you.
Pease convey my congratulations to your sister also for her marriage.
Don’t forget to say say hi if you visit NYC ever.
PS: Now I will read your story.
August 24th, 2004 at 3:03 am
Congrats you two! What a wonderful way to properly start a great partnership. There is a reason the old fashioned way is the best way….because Christ is at the core!
Best wishes to you two whippersnappers.
(I am David and Mike Chism’s arch-competitor in painting and arch-brother in Christ!)
September 19th, 2004 at 2:39 am
Hi!
I just read your story. Loved it. What candy company did you get the heart from? I really want to do the same thing with my future wife. (She really loves candy)
January 18th, 2005 at 8:48 am
Hey!
I just read your story…
The Lord has pressed it upon me to wait for my future husband,
It’s so encouraging to read success stories!
and it is also nice to know that you are not the only “diferent” person in the world!
Thank- you for being an encouragemant to me and lots of others.
May God bless you heaps, Your sister in Christ, Mel xxx
February 24th, 2005 at 7:11 am
David and Joli,
Thank you for being an inspiration to all of us- I found this website through ylcf’s courtship stories. It’s something i’m seriously considering right now, and i just wanted to thank ya’ll heartily for providing such great examples to the rest of us. Thanks!
God Bless!
Sarah McKee
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John 3:30
April 21st, 2005 at 4:27 am
Congratulations, David and Joli,
I sure enjoyed reading your story, especially since I was aquainted with both of you from the Indianapolis Training Center. Apparently, although you were both there, your paths didn’t cross until God’s perfect timing.
) Thanks for posting your story. It was fun to read.
Sincerely,
Kristen Blumhardt
April 25th, 2005 at 3:00 am
David and joli,
This may sound a little funny but I just stumbled across your story and realized that I know you!Not personally of course, but I recognized you from your picture.See,my family is homeschooling through Heritage Christian School and I actually had a speech class with Curtis a few years ago!
Thank you for your story and for proving that the right way still works!
Because Of Calvary,
Ashley